Season 2, Episode 03: Polyamory: Perceptions and Realities
Over the last four years, I have been promising to finish cleaning up the audio from the various panels that I have been on and improve the show notes. Now that GraysMatter Podcast is up and running, I have taken the time to also revisit these panels. Please join me in experiencing Justin on Panels.
In society and in the media, a number of myths have revolved around polyamory. Though polyamory is becoming more generally accepted, the media shows it as a white phenomenon. Explore and discuss how the polyamorous experience is portrayed and how it differs from reality.
With: Kyle Andrew, Justin Grays
Justin on Panels is available on the following platforms:
When introducing ourselves, we intentionally gave our pronouns. Part of the reason is so that people know what our pronouns are, and part of the reason was so that we can help people get out of the habit of assuming other people’s pronouns. Pronouns are words that we use to replace names (she/him/theirs), and it is important to use what most accurately represents the people whom we are referring to.
Big Love was an HBO drama that ran from March 2006 to March 2011, about a fundamentalist Mormon family that practices polygyny. Sister Wives was a TLC reality series that premiered in September 2010 (and is apparently still running) about a fundamentalist Mormon family that practices polygyny.
More on my experiences on Polyamory and Race.
I believe that this is the City Pages article: “An Open Secret: Meet the Minnesotans Finding Love Through Polyamory”. City Pages ceased publication in 2020.
The restriction of Black Mormon priesthood was lifted in 1978.
There are still colonial-era laws governing Africa existing in varying degrees; much of the anti-queer legislation in the world (especially in Africa) has colonial roots. Gender (as we currently understand it) can be seen as a colonial object. Read “Before the law: Criminalizing sexual conduct in colonial and post-colonial southern African societies” from the Human Rights Watch to learn more.
Glossary (unless links are otherwise given, glossary from More Than Two):
Anchor Partner: A term often used to replace the term primary partner while still describing a higher level of entanglement in order to avoid hierarchical language.
Graygender (also spelled greygender): A gender in which one identifies partially outside the gender binary and has a strong ambivalence about one's gender identity and/or gender expression. One feels that one has a gender/genders, as well as a natural inclination or desire to express said gender(s), but it’s weak and/or somewhat indeterminate/indefinable, or one doesn't feel it most of the time, or one is just not that invested in it.
Monogamy: The state or practice of having only one wedded spouse at a time, or more generally, having only one sexual partner or only one romantic relationship at a time.
Nesting Partner: A live-in partner (or partners). This person may or may not be a primary partner, as well, but nesting partner is often used to replace the term primary partner while still describing a higher level of entanglement in order to avoid hierarchical language.
Polyamory: The state or practice of maintaining multiple sexual and/or romantic relationships simultaneously, with the full knowledge and consent of all the people involved.
Polygamy: The state or practice of having multiple wedded spouses at the same time, regardless of the sex of those spouses.
Polygyny: The state or practice of having multiple wedded wives at the same time.
Swinging: The practice of having multiple sexual partners outside of an existing romantic relationship, most often with the understanding that the focus of those relationships is primarily sexual rather than romantic or emotionally intimate.
Cover Art by Michelle Chmura | Theme Music by Caleb Kelson | Edited by Rachel Hanson
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